Friends to an End
Drivel. Nothing special. Conversing with myself .
Is it not funny that even the pain from true love felt
feels good?
Like drowning slowly
they say it feels peaceful after awhile.
Think all the things in my head
what you never understood.
But maybe because my thoughts were so loud
I thought I had told you
And all along I never made a sound
You had such a way with guile
It’s hard to trust you and it’s hard to smile.
But maybe even the pain will go after awhile.
Until then I’ll fake it
I’ll fake the smile.
I’ve always been good at that.
But youre gonna be the one to put the theory to practice.
Knowing you were only acting.
I wasn’t a stage you know?
Because you never turned the page.
To see the good parts.
The fused hearts
The next chapter it finally gets good.
But you closed the book
And that’s all I understood.
Flipped through all the beauty
To a page with only two words
The end.
But I’d open that book again and again.
I’d read the first few pages
The ones with love and sin.
The ones where we both know where we’ve been.
Yes I’d do it again.
Knowing you ripped out all the good parts
That we never got to spend.
I feel your never ending circle
Or complete the beginning to the end.
Over and over and over it spins.
And what I can just be a friend?
A world on an axis dancing round what has never been.
The pain I feel now
Feels good when I think of you.
Remember the turn table?
when I still feared you near.
The static between us almost breathable.
Oh the physical
paralyzed in our presence.
You in my mirror.
Never seeing my eyes
But I saw you smile.
And you think you are happy now?
What if I said I do not believe you?
Because emotions arent allowed?
Don’t you understand?
It was more than physical.
It’s transcended.
Or I’d not look for it again and again.
Never a has been.
Repeated 100 times more
Than the words reused in this I’m writing down.
Oh again?
Where we have been?
Again and again.
Have I said it’s the end?
Have rhymed again?.
How many “the ends” have we had?
Lets challenge ourselves to make it to the weekend
Without needing each other.
Without validation
Because we both know
Where we wanna end up .
Either far or near.
By smile or by tear.
Together, apart but near.
Ever leaving the other behind
Tell me I speak a lie?
If you don’t I know what you want.
Or how many do we have left?
Oh does it ever end?
Do we only bend?
Well you could always depend.
Lets be friends
But it’s a lie
Again and again.
It will end
Us.
You don’t understand.
Your mind wanders like mine
Yet yours never
Let me taste your lips, your skin.
Lets play pretend.
That it don’t mean a thing.
Don’t you realize?
It’s not the end
Until it’s the end.
We both know it’s again and again.
Prove me wrong
Prove me I’m just a fool full of sin.
But what a sin we made
What a sin we could flip.
What a sip
Of life we could take
If you only could comprehend.
All we could really be again.
Set it free.
Make me bleed.
Tear my soul in two
Because you know my twin
Hurt me and it hurts you.
You get what you give.
So let us just live
And be one.
Or your the one throwing fate away
But you don’t believe that.
It’s easier to ignore it another day.
Do that and you’ll find yourself without anyone
I understand you.
You understand me.
Give us credit for what we did see.
And mourn what we never will.
Because you would not walk towards me.
But me?
I can’t just be your friend.
It’s not so simple.
May as well put up a tombstone
Names engraved.
What a waste as just to say
we could be friends.
Sure.
But it would force the end.
The End.
Of all we were looking for.
If that’s your ending
Take it.
I’ll find the door.
To the grave
A tomb
A place where moonlight merely looms
Where darkness spreads its hair.
For you have put me there.
May as well.
If it was not you.
There was the last nail.
To a door shut
with me inside entombed
I’ve no room.
Unless youre buried beside me.
Where I can look upon you forever.
Then perhaps we would have more to talk about.
And be beyond the platonic.
And grow to what we should’ve always been.
The power behind such an unforgettable sin.
To hide away.
When we should only begin.
Bright and new into a grin.
Never knowing words.
Such as “The End”
C.R.S
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