Spoke
Short lines and not so wordy..but pretty straight forward..probably not finished..as usual I add stuff ..I've been writing more song like stuff lately...yea it's lengthy but sentences are shorter
My life.
Taking what I’ve taken.
Having what I’ve had.
What’s real and what’s not?
What’s real and what’s not?
Now I know.
Sabotage the sabotaged.
Why this tragic montage?
I don’t have the cause
But little late now to ask why?
Blind so blind
Sign the signed
Bonded to what I bind.
I never lied
How does anyone find the trail when it’s perfectly aligned
And you have no sense of direction
Death before a resurrection.
Oh a calm before a storm
A winter before it’s born.
New and just in time.
Signs pointing to signs.
But that was up to you
Language unseen
Friend of karmic land
Souls within a soul
Your all I understand
I see no death
I see no death
I see your soul.
But Let me dig you a hole.
Before you lay in it.
Or we could just play in it.
Make the distinction
Don’t fight intention.
Don’t fight the world
This law of attraction.
Cut the tension
I’ve never lied
But failed to mention
God I failed to mention
Did I not?
What I really do see.
What a preacher
What a teacher
Like a seizure
Not dead but numb
Don’t put up the end.
When it’s a smile before a grin.
A sin that’s not a sin.
It’ll renew again and again.
I feel it’s true.
For the first time ever.
Help me see it through
It’s not such a hard endeavour
You wait and see.
It’s fallen through.
We all have seen the nine circles
It’s that age and means little.
It’ll see you through
I’d see it through
When it’s freed just watch what it’ll do.
God wheres the patience.
It’s already right here inside us.
You thought you knew
And you did not.
I’m not going anywhere
Don’t treat me unfair.
The hand of fate is only a gate.
You gotta open it.
To set it free.
Let it flee
Let it breath
Because you can see.
Do not tell me you cannot see
I always believed
This was gonna turn things upside right.
But always knew it was a fight
But I never had cast type.
I see what I see.
I don’t just see what I do
I see inside, I see you.
A flaw or beauty?
Isn’t much to me.
I see you.
But it has to be believed.
Turning up the sound
To drown you out
Misunderstanding every thing I say
Treat it as a threat
You can bet
You can bet
But believe me when I say it
I’ve not fallen this far as of yet.
Creature, too careful.
Guarded needlessly.
I’ve been around, I’m no fool.
Don’t lie that you cannot see it too.
Something unfamiliar in the familiar.
Its what I get.
Let it. just let
Never a threat
But that hasn’t been heard yet
Nothing was intended
We did bend it
Unintended it was.
Control and chaos, im equally blended
Obstacles that never existed.
Switching chaos with control
passed eachother by every time.
Just don’t die before your dead
Just when I was learning empathy
Looking for a key when there are too many.
Show me the one.
Holster the gun.
Put down your weapons
And do not shun.
Bond the bind.
Train the pain
Shield the sun
But mind the rain
Shield the sun
But find the rain.
Lay in the damp beside me.
Find the flame
But mind the rain
Or is it that candle that cannot be blown out?
What’s this about?
Wait on me
Your what I’ve waited so long on you see?
A flame shared that does not go out.
A flame twinned, a desert without drought
Still and burning. Recognizing me.
Oh if there was one I’d give it a name.
Stand up and realize your the same.
Stand up and realize your the same
Just wait.
Tell me you don’t know what I mean?
Liar.
How much can one misunderstand?
Before the strain
Is a two-way brand
Made me move.
Made me stand
Let’s do that again.
As it demands.
Until you hate it completely
Which you will.
But we have time to kill.
And you’ll see soon I’ve got you.
Until you’ve had your fill.
I bond myself at will.
When something makes me steal
Myself.
I was born to understand you.
Tell me otherwise water of fire
And I’ll softly call you a liar.
It cannot sour.
Do you not feel the electricity?
I’d Relinquish my power
Just to show you how serious I can be.
Watching a ceiling fan go round and round
I’m nowhere to be found.
To it’s gears I am bound
Do I pull it down?
Or let it keep making that sound?
I cannot sleep
Something rises from the feet.
Weak as my logic cannot work.
It was my reliance, nice and neat.
But I’ll fire up what I spoke
But I cannot let it go up in smoke.
Now my emotional side is being tested.
My intuition bested.
I can taste it
The raw nerve
metallic and bittersweet.
Hideous and neat.
Kneeling to my feet.
Dirty makes me neat.
Muddy me to my knees.
Sleep is shaky
I feel a strange dream before my eyes even close
Before now Id never heard of those
My skin crawls
Breath
It’s like it falls in sips
But into or out of death?
Oh do I even know which?
And by now do I even really care?
Be fair.
Remember we are all dead inside
All means all.
All us that life threw aside
So its hard to feel the wrong inside.
But not so hard to feel the song inside
It’s hard to feel the lie or cry
Mutual respect just makes falling out and in love harder.
Mutual respect just makes falling in and out of love harder
You have to sell what you barter
I spiral faster and harder.
And I like it.
I like it.
You’ll never meet more heartless hearts
Still Full of life and full of spark.
All the dead eyed people still spinning their wheels
The feel of spinning through the chills
But what a meager meal.
My blood has in it a meager meal
But inside there is a thrill
And we all wonder why we feel ill
just walking around looking for heartbreak
Instead of love.
They look down first and not above.
Wings of a dove
Break that cycle.
Break the shackles
with the black tools
Walking head forward into the empty pools
Pools waterless
And your dead gone on dive
Or into filthy murky shallows alive.
Healthy emotions are clean pools
That’s the notions of fools.
That’s far gone now.
I long ago bowed
The living dead also have a fate
We love ourselves to much to hate ourselves.
We hate ourselves to much to love ourselves.
So hate myself with me.
Love myself with me.
Putting purity on the shelves
Dusting it off maybe next year
Whisper in my ear, what I tell my self.
Whisper in my ear.
No one should pull themselves lower for my sake
Unless you wanna intake what
I take
That I make
See that I shake
Never faked but I have been faked.
And ask anyone
I’ve never had brakes
But I know what I know
When I know
It leaves me ahead of those still stumbling to understand the flow.
And I’m already here.
Ive been here and I say go
Into the deep end
I stand on the edge of this dark lake.
And I always wake
Over and over and over
I laugh with an ache
I live in this mind
And I’m at home here.
The fear has been gone awhile.
I know exactly where to steer.
The fear is a laughable little shadow
A shadow that always knows
And it’s no mental strain.
Oh I have a strong conscience
Someone should just tell my brain.
Let me have your fear to tame.
Trust me, I know what’s okay
And I do nothing shallow.
And I never feign.
Sure I syphon off insane.
Create me a balance and syphon my sane.
I am what I am
But I am not a game.
I’m no fool.
But I see what is real.
And before I saw what was simply a tool.
But then I saw this is no longer a shed
We are in no shed.
The tool became something more instead.
And is that a fright or a bite?
I’ll just take the vein of venom
Of which I don’t wanna lose ties
The poison I want inside
To heal my dead eyes.
A stay with me sickness, I like it so.
My veins like this feeling
They have a glow.
I refuse
I won’t let this go
Not until I’m sorely told.
But I won’t be told.
Give me the venom and I’ll make it gold.
Nothing I do is lightly.
So many find it unsightly
But I see what I see.
I feel what I feel.
I know what I know.
And I don’t ignore it.
Neither should any.
Of which there aren’t many.
Like A hall of mirrors with no end.
You cannot tell when you spin
With your eyes open
So Close them now.
Close your eyes
It’s in the skin now
Beneath the skin.
So walk the hall, lead you where I’ve been.
I cannot resist when I see a mirrors reflection back at me.
But it’s really not me.
But another.
I can only try to make you agree
I’m never held in blame.
But maybe I want to be?
I syphon deeply off the sane
Create me a balance and syphon my insane.
Make this dirty, clean and neat
Make it complete
This abstract needs something concrete.
Make it so, make it complete.
Why finish before a defeat?
That’s not in me.
What’s keeping us here?
Let us ask these questions.
Can we set ourselves free?
If there is something to be said
Just tell me
Just tell me.
The morning is the night
The night the morning
Are we worth the fight?
More than anything.
So are you dead?
or are you alive?
I’ll dig you a hole
But instead of burying yourself underground.
Where youll loose the sound
Let’s jump in and mess around.
I’m right here and I’ve been here
You had me instant.
I’ve no answers
But it is what it is.
I’m here.
Without much fear.
That alone is terrifying.
But perfection.
Yet I’m not crying.
Certainly not lying.
Build me a balance and look at me.
Stand up.
Face me
Nothing you are
Nothing you do.
Fazes me.
Almost like fate had ideas you and I did not know.
Is it that old?
I live through fate lines.
But do you my dear?
Kill the fear and wake up.
You know it’s right.
So give me your fight.
I’d tear my life apart.
Just to make you see who your really are.
Rise up. I’m right here
I’m right here.
Make me feel more myself with you.
That I’d forgotten was near
Help me lose the fear
Or I just have to let you go dear.
Just a confession in my ear.
You don’t realize your perfection.
Why you look inside instead of out
Your no mere distraction.
Far from it.
But if I need to go.
I simply need to know.
As now it’s gone on to far.
Thanks for that.
Don’t you think I wish I forgot to realize we are the same?
But I did not.
Shame.
You left before the start of the game.
You cut out before there was anything to blame.
I wish I left before the start
But now the claws won’t leave my heart.
Thanks for that.
Just don’t regret it
And I’ll shed you like my own skin.
Until you think again
Until you think again.
You know here is where I’ve always been.
Tell me when you have dug out again.
I’ll still be right here.
I can’t try to keep you near
Until you realize what you fear.
How can right be a sin?
I will not let it go.
Not when I know what I know
How could you just let it go?
Tell me now so I can mitigate the damage
And try to let you go.
Just know
My fate line, I hope you know what your doing.
And what it is of your letting go.
Why run from fate?
Its a promise written in blood
It will never be too late.
As much of hell as there is above.
Chaos and control held tight
Give in, don’t give up the fight.
My hand in your hand I can
Neither wrong nor right.
Simply held into me tight.
A limbo, a heaven or hell
Or couldn’t you tell?
The wavelengths are there.
Sometimes it’s more than I can bear.
All you had to do is share, care.
But youll leave me standing there.
Paper and silver a crown to spare
Means not a damn thing
I buy what I want with my soul.
And when I grow old
I’d sooner use a bullet with a goal.
Before I compromise moneys security of
With security in a life in love.
If you’d just let me show you.
You would find it’s what you were looking for.
It’s strong within to the farthest core
Had me frozen on the floor.
I stopped for no one
Until you, you know?
But if you wanna go?
down this lonely road then go.
Yes let it go when you should’ve kept hold.
it’s illusion, a lie we are told.
That we are to old to be bold.
Let me take the venom and make it gold.
Let me take your poison and make it gold
And Because I promise I’ll warm all that’s cold.
All the venomous gold I’ve already sold.
The rest I gave away except the rarity
As we broke the mold.
We broke the mold.
—C.R.Stanger
(2022-2023)
Putting pieces of stuff...into something.
God I love Edvard Munch paintings...they take up 50 percent of my house decor...I'd use them for all my poem covers but I try to do variety heh.
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