This Smile I Wear
2003 or 2004
I try to wear it every day but this smile I wear some days
Is the only thing I have left
Every ounce of happiness
Has drained from my body
You hold onto every mistake I make
You suck out all of the evil and wrong
Not to rid me of all my pain
But to shove it in my face
To prove to me you’re better than I
It must be nice being happy all the time
Happiness is for giddy little school girls
This smile I wear is nothing but fake
Awaken every morning to try to survive one more day
I’m thrilled everything comes easy for you
I am; see the way I’m grinning
And clinching my jaw?
Truly excited
Congratulations as I go crazy
Crazy trying to pretend to be happy
Crazy as I wear this fake smile
Crazy as I refrain from hurting you, or even worse; myself
Medication, you honestly think that works?
All you technological idiots care about and rely on these days are inventing new medications
Someone’s got a problem
I bet there’s a medicine to mask, I mean fix it
Frightened by my future
Constant screams of pressure
Nothing is ever good enough
Everyone’s out to judge me
These are my symptoms
Come on Doc, what’s my disease?
A medication I’m sure will help
Evidently, it cures everything
Might as well perform surgery on this helpless body
Or kill me, please
Saddened by this fake smile I wear?
You shouldn’t be
Continue your usual day
Looking at me and treating me like a newfound outcast
Yeah, psycho
That’s me
I just put on my fake smile
I wear it just for you
Happy now?
Every day your shit’s the same
Nothing’s bound to change
Wow high school was traumatic and weird
