You can either learn to ride a bik… with no hands in order to show off or to free your hands for another task
The dream has always been To build a time machine And go back in time To change the present But some things never change–
If you’re going to take sick leave… take FMLA
Much like nuclear weapons the whole point of having vacation days is never to use them
We guard the thin line between love and hate by loving more But we cross the thin line between self-love and self-hate
Right up until the last revision it said Life, liberty and the hot pursuit…
The first thing I fell in love with was her out-of-office notification
People are like whales who have gotten sick of plankton
Think about how much control they… with a made up version of eternal damnation Then consider how much freedom you’ll be left with
The opposite of bad breath Isn’t good breath It’s fresh breath Because all breath is good So, you never have to hold your br…
Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…
People still make all the mistakes but now A.I. does all the learning
Maybe We’re all Late bloomers
When the NSA reads my email are they ab– le to discern tone
Looking for signs of intelligent l… We imagine their supremely advance… Like somnolent caterpillars Dreaming up fabulous cocoons of th…
