…And its here again. He can feel it, this crippling rage this sorrow like daggers cutting into the things he holds on to that give me hope. It tears them to shreds and I left staring into the pain that’s left with lost dreams along with them. Again he feels so weak, again he feels like shit and his body endures it just like another day. In truth this for most of his life it has been likes this just another day, letting the pain overcome his better judgment and feelings.

He’s lost in my mind and her name is echoed in every hallway and in my dreams he feels the sting of the hope that is gone now with her as well. As he runs and tries to escape that echo it just bounces off his every thought and her image burns his eyes. This is where forever dies…..inside the hollows of his mind. He can try my best to keep the fire alive but the more he looks at it the more the darkness seems to overwhelm it…..smothering it begging me to listen to it as it’s the more logical choice. And even though I try not to its offer is the best one….the denial it brings….the ability to shade the true love and feel the rage instead of the lost pain and hurt that will be there in place of her, knowing that she’ll never be his…..it seems better…..it seems smarter to be mad then to reach for the sun that he can never have and be burned eternally as its grasp slips from him. And he thinks it’ll be like this till she will try…..or even just let him in and feel the fire he has for her and let it grow with them together as one. Of course that won’t happen for she lacks the one thing he has too much of and yet constantly squanders……hope.

So here he’ll wallow in this pain and rage and hurt…because it’s easier than disappointment, easier to hide behind a curtain than to cope out in the open and bleed without any armor or shields to protect me without the chance of her light healing him and brining his mind to the light instead of the darkness.