Short-Growth
By: Ezekiel Gonzales
I see me, far in to the past
running with the wind
A child with no scars to tell, no sad story or forgotten memories
no eyes that bear burdens too heavy to hold
recognizing me now is difficult
everything is going by in flashes
flickering like an undecided blackout
I want to be who that child wanted to be;
gone with the wind, careless and free
never looking back or regretting
too much time in the clouds, I suppose
No time to say, “I love you.”
“No time like the present,” they say
the present never felt so far away
living with you was all I ever knew, so what am I supposed to do?
the night before was too peaceful for you, wasn’t it?
the morning, too?
life comes and goes, as does death
nine months or one second
breathing is your choice
stopping is your choice
moving from one place to another, changing
I never asked for it— never wanted it
but it was for her, that’s all I can reason it for
with change came growth
age to grade, health to stability
never did I give it much thought, who I was doing it for
can’t I give myself something to do;
something worthwhile, something meaningful
when it comes to me
I want to be greedy and steal time
something just for me
it’s all over for me now
the me you see is here to stay
stuck too high; out of sight and out of mind
having gone too gentle in to the night
choosing is difficult if you’re me
I could never find who made this manageable
time has come for me
