The Shining Man (Movement 2)
7
as the strange new distance expanded
between the shining man and the sun
his relatives rapidly faded into the background
the details of their startled, shining faces
melting into one great fiery orb
so that
even as the intoxicating rush of adventure vibrated
through his entire being
and thrilled him to the core
the shining man also felt
for the very first time
alone
“what?” he wondered to himself
“what and why and how?
and just where am i and what am i doing here & what lies before me?
and just what exactly possessed me
to strike out on my own like this?
is this madness?”
it was an alien sensation for the shining man to be thinking such thoughts
for he had never thought anything much before outside of bliss
and the connection of total unity
and contentedness
as exquisite as he felt
diving into the great unknown
it was also frightening
and the shining man’s heart then discovered
its first taste of fear and doubt
“what if i never make it back home again?” he asked the silence
“what if there’s nothing out here for me
but the cold and dark?”
the shining man could conceive of no way to slow his movement
into the abyss
nor any method for turning around or altering his trajectory
as he hurtled through space
his mind spilled over
with musings on the infinite possibilities
of his destiny
“anything might happen,” he reflected
“the most magnificent exultation may lie in wait just ahead
or utter devastation round the bend
i cannot tell which
but, whatever may come
I must remember that I am on a most wonderful adventure
in a most spectacular universe
and never despair
nor regret the decision i’ve made”
remembering the impulse that had first washed over him
when he caught his first glimpse of mystery
the shining man set aside his unease and told himself
“it was time for me to leave
so leave I did”
having thus accepted his situation
the shining man relaxed into the moment
and fully experienced the sensation of his radiant body of light
as it continued to hurtle through space
but then he felt the remnants
of a solar breeze
blowing across his face
and it evoked a lingering pang of loss in his chest
as he recalled the warm embraces of his kin
it was so quiet out here
so very quiet
and still
unnervingly still
the shining man began to experiment with the stillness
holding himself motionless
and allowing the solar wind to take him where it would
he began to sense subtle waves of gravity emanating
from far off, unseen objects
as they ever so gently
tugged at him
it was a long, long while before the shining man did anything but drift
in stillness
a state
so unlike his life before
no music
no song
no embraces
no dance
just stillness
and quiet
and endless drifting
8
in time the emptiness prompted the shining man
to truly dream for the first time
his mind began to weave stories and paint pictures
to fill the emptiness
of his drifting, shifting journey
across the universe
with nothing to distract him
he simply allowed his dreaming mind
to take him wherever it would
gazing out upon the distant stars
he dreamed they gazed back at him
surely someday, somehow they would meet
but when and how?
and who or what he might find
on, in and around them?
as the stillness stretched on and out and through him
the shining man began to dream those stars were
all dancing with one another
in the same way he and all his shining kin
had danced together for his entire life
before his great departure
in his dream they were all engaged in a grand dance
that reached far beyond
anything the shining man could see or hear or feel
with his own body
and he began to hear those stars singing
in their own strange language
he desperately wanted to understand their music
to hear it for himself
perhaps learn to sing along
but they all seemed so, so far away
and in spite of himself
the shining man wondered again
if he had made a terrible mistake
would he have been better off
spiraling back in
to the center of the sun
where the dance was all laid out for him
in perfect symmetry
and simplicity
and harmony?
then the shining man’s dream filled up
with the song from the heart of the sun
and it echoed through his entire being
out here alone
that eternal pulse again snaked through his body
even as he held himself perfectly still
on the immutable track of his forward motion
but now there was no one
to share the song
or the dance
had he taken a misstep?
and if so, how big?
with what consequences?
would his decision to reject the perfect pattern of his people
ripple out across the dark horizon
and interfere with the greater dance of all those stars?
was he be spoiling some greater balance
which he was not even equipped to comprehend?
such were the lonesome thoughts infecting
the dreams of the shining man
as he drifted through the inky blackness
on his journey through the unknown
9
the shining man grew so accustomed to the sensation
of empty drifting
his memory of the sun dimmed
ever so slightly
and the sound of its song within him
equally diminished
and yet no other star seemed any closer to him
it was then that the shining man looked back
to see how far he had come
from his home
there
there it was
it seemed so small now
so distant
and yet, when compared to the infinite number of stars
that stretched out in all directions
his home, the sun
stood apart
easily the brightest, largest object in view
the sight of it brought the old song back to life yet again
in a rush that swept powerfully through the shining man
and he cried out
weeping tears of liquid plasma
and as he wept
his body of light still hurtled through the abyss
with nothing to stop it
and no way to turn around
and nothing to hold on to
10
time stretched on
and on
eventually it felt as though the shining man had been drifting longer
than his entire life had been before
yet still he appeared to be no closer
to any star
nor any other place in the universe
than when he’d gazed out upon them from the surface of the sun
all that appeared to be
was farther from home
and though the great mysterious expanse of stars
still beautified his sight
and still exhilarated his heart
the shining man had to remind himself
to stay open to the beauty
when he forgot to do so
the universe just made the shining man feel alone
and so his hot weeping continued
in spasms that wracked his body
in synch with the wrenching emotions
that assaulted his radiant soul
having no good reason to resist
the shuddering convulsions of his weeping
the shining man allowed them to run their course
it took a long, long while
but in time all the accumulated negativity and despair
worked their way through and out of him
to completion
until stillness at long last returned
a strange paradoxical sensation emerged
in the shining man’s heart
on one hand feeling at peace with his fate
on the other feeling more vulnerable and exposed
than he ever had before
it was in this strange new state of being
that the shining man came upon the most startling discovery…
it was a planet
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