What's Inside
Written to Christian M.
I’ve finally cried my first tears over you.
It took a while, but the pain finally came through.
I sneak peeks at your profile,
and it got to me after a while.
It’s weird, how our lives are separate.
Sometimes it makes me feel desperate.
We used to be like a single unit,
now the wall is so thick I can’t even hear through it.
I always wonder what you’re doing now,
cause in the past I always used to know somehow.
At first, it all seemed too easy.
Being single was doing just fine for me.
But then I saw for the first time,
and walking became hard like a mountain climb.
It got hard to breathe,
and yet you never looked up at me.
The worst part was I didn’t get to see your eyes.
For some reason, it hit me like a thousand goodbyes.
I know I missed you as a normal such,
but I never realized it was that much.
All the pain I was ignoring inside,
finally decided would go on a ride.
Now I’m laying here hurting and scared,
and I feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere.
How can so much pain come from love?
How can something so beautiful be something I want to get rid of?
When I told myself being with you was too much to bear,
I never imagined how much my heart would tear.
I’m the weakest I’ve ever been,
and every ounce of it is because of a decision.
I don’t regret what I decided to do,
but honestly I just really miss you.
(2013)
