on the 27th of january 2015
I left your home
head highly strunge
from the bullshit we fought about.
by the 1st his body was found,
by the 10th i knew this shit was all over now.
We split while you did three days in a cell
police men telling me i knew well
that you where using me
that you where abusing me
through the drugs and drink
you claimed you where off.
when in the near two years gone
did my hope loss battle.
when did i know you did wrong
knew you where gone
from the dreams i’d woven
in a time so long.
its the 30th of novemebr 2016,
this was the year we wanted to be married in.
A month back from this very day.
That i wanted to say i do
instead i find myself hiding from you.
letting drink win my thoughts
and men win my mind.
Plying it over and over
leaving me with contaplating suicide.
I guess its taken time
to reach my mind.
I’v now my cracks on show
but yet no one knows.
it took nearly 2 years.
For my mind to understand
that this life
was our last chance.
It took nearly two years,
for my heart to beat its last beat.
For my eyes to tear up in the memory.
Of how no man will ever again love me,
for my breaks to finally be free.
Claiming this single life, eternally.
Finally the world broke me
into the women it wanted me so badly to be...
beaten and alone, scared to leave her home.