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fly on the wall

i dont know what it is missing in my life right now,
but whatever it is is growing internal.
like a big huge gap in my ribs,
growing gardens of empty.
and im dizzy,
what did i even do this evening
my life feels like sitting
and i feel like flying
through the roof of this home and higher
im tired.
but my eyes will more likely turn into butterflies before
they even bother to close
who knows
maybe im just evaporating into fog
i’ve been ignorant of my pain
so long
wrap me up in
its okays and im heres
theres a fly on the mirror
its been getting closer
to the window all day.
i watch my walls turn my eyes grey
i dont know what to say
honesty in this place would be too humbling right now
i have got to escape somehow
i wish i could break it all
i wish i could make all the stars fall
i would dance in their rain
until the moon cracked open
until god came.

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