A change in me, thanks to you
Dedicated to Suzanne, who helped me to finally reconnect with my inner child.
With my ear to the floor I’d repeat the same thing.
“Please let it stop God, or let my mum win”.
Those prayers never answered, I’d lie on my bed.
And sadly I’d lay there and wish I was dead.
As I grew older, I pushed it aside.
Got on with my life, and frequently lied.
“I’d had a good childhood” I’d always repeat;
So much, I forgot, and my life seemed so sweet.
Many years passed, when it hit me again.
When the memories returned and I felt all that pain.
And the child that I saw was so evil and grim.
She deserved everything that she got off of him.
The child was not human, in my mind at least.
Despite being told, that she was no beast.
“A mutated gene”; I believed that was me.
Pure evil, sheer hell was all I could see.
But now I can see that this child is not bad.
She is fragile and wary, and ever so sad.
No punishment needed, she’s done nothing wrong.
She needs my protection; for me to be strong.
You helped me to see this; you helped me connect
With this vulnerable child that I need to protect.
You gave me the time, helped me gather my strength.
Not judging me once, as you listened at length.
You gave me the courage and helped me believe
That anything I wanted to, I could achieve.
At last I can see that the small child is me.
She’s now off the streets in a place of safety.
She’s clean, warm and dry, with toys all around.
She no longer sits motionless on the ground.
At times I can even hug her and say,
“Shh don’t you worry, it will all be okay”.
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This poem was written for a psychologist who worked with me on some childhood trauma, as our work together came to an end. I wanted to help her understand how much of a difference she had made to me and my life. It explains the journey from beginning to end, showing an eventual shift in how I felt towards myself and my inner child.
#Abuse #Child #Help #InnerPsychologist #Support #ThankTherapy #Trauma #You
