A flood of emotion. Just clear blood. Built up behind these walls. I’ve barricaded the doors. And held this wall together with the thoughts of my past and the memories of my demons. The slightest thing sets it off. And it will never end. An endless cycle. An endless pain. This is infinite.

They say it’s temporary. But they don’t know the kind of pain that you carry inside of you. The kind of pain no one can see but your soul that is screaming for you to take this away because it’s eating your soul alive

A dark cloud that takes over all of your sight. Yet everyone around seems to see a light inside of you. Conceal it all inside and brush it off your shoulders. Act as if there’s nothing to feel. Plaster a fake smile and walk with my head down. Hold my tongue. Bite my lip. Scream inside as the darkness consumes me. Make sure nothing’s seen. Stay out of sight and hide what you’re scared to let go.

Inside it gets darker and darker. As the days go by. The pain grows bigger. The secrets get harder. And a dark hold takes over your chest. Sucking in energy and draining the ones who are trying to save you. But you can’t stop this. It’s in your nature. You have changed your DNA.

Shaky hands. Sweaty palms. My breath isn’t steady I’m so scared of people getting close. My body tenses. My chest tightens. But I’d be lying is I said I want to be alone. Sick to the stomach. Cold to the bone. Eyes aren’t focused looking everywhere but at the silloutte trying to reach out to it. Knees go weak as they tell you they care.

Your head spins. Your eyes sting. But why. They want to help. Someone cares. Someone loves you. But it’s a game. You’re don’t deserve this. This isn’t real. After all this time. No one could possibly care. No one could possibly love you. All this. Every word they said. It’s all a lie

It’s so sad how much this has changed you. How much this is still impacting you and how much this is ruining your life. It’s taken all your sanity. All your trust. All your faith. All your love. The light you had inside of you. Your smile. Your laugh. Your innocence. Your heart.

Everything has changed. It’s either broken or gone. Because of what these people have caused. Because of what you kept inflicting upon yourself. I did this to myself. I let this start. And I will make this end. Tonight.