By J Ann Crowder

Through a vision of the past
I’m looking at little hands resting on my finger
I’m holding him more gently than I would a glass feather
In a moment bringing me my greatest loss
He is so small and fragile
His eyes are closed
He is sleeping now
Through convulsions of tears I wonder what his dreams are
Does he think of me?
Years have passed
I always think of him
I hide his memory in a wooden chest for only me
Sometimes I open it, to see his memories most vibrant
The chest smells of cedar
I keep a baby blanket, photos, and his small hand and foot prints inside
Sometimes I wonder what color his eyes would have been
Or, what he would have been like
I remember he was so tiny
But, perfectly formed
He’s in heaven
He’s been in heaven for a while now
My little Joseph he’ll always be
I buried him with flowers
His little body turned towards eastern stars
Everytime I look at those stars and I know I’ll see him again
I still remember his flowers, the way they smelled in my hands
Orange gerbera daisies
A mildly sweet smell
Long stemmed
Stunning with beauty
When I see an orange gerbera daisy I think of him
I remember, once more
I’ll see him again
And this is the solace I hold forever in my heart

Dedicated to parents who have lost a baby or child. April 25th, 2016.

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