By J Ann Crowder

Through a vision of the past
 
I’m looking at little hands resting on my finger
 
I’m holding him more gently than I would a glass feather
 
In a moment bringing me my greatest loss
 
He is so small and fragile
 
His eyes are closed
 
He is sleeping now
 
Through convulsions of tears I wonder what his dreams are
 
Does he think of me?
 
Years have passed
 
I always think of him
 
I hide his memory in a wooden chest for only me
 
Sometimes I open it, to see his memories most vibrant
 
The chest smells of cedar
 
I keep a baby blanket, photos, and his small hand and foot prints inside
 
Sometimes I wonder what color his eyes would have been
 
Or, what he would have been like
 
I remember he was so tiny
 
But, perfectly formed
 
He’s in heaven
 
He’s been in heaven for a while now
 
My little Joseph he’ll always be
 
I buried him with flowers
 
His little body turned towards eastern stars
 
Everytime I look at those stars and I know I’ll see him again
 
I still remember his flowers, the way they smelled in my hands
 
Orange gerbera daisies
 
A mildly sweet smell
 
Long stemmed
 
Stunning with beauty
 
When I see an orange gerbera daisy I think of him
 
I remember, once more
 
I’ll see him again
 
And this is the solace I hold forever in my heart

Dedicated to parents who have lost a baby or child. April 25th, 2016.

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