This struggle that I am dealing with has made my life a mess.
Maybe it’s because of me maybe it is all the stress.
You say that you were there for me, those words only made it worse
As I was fighting to keep my head up, my life felt like it was a fucking curse.
I wish I could rewind 2017, it’s like my life was a movie of an altered horror scene
It had my mind astray as it holds some of my darkest thoughts
Leaving me trying to find a reason you were leaving me with all these empty spots
I wonder if you noticed all the pain I stored inside trying hard to keep face as my insides slowly died

Did you hear my cries for you, did you see these empty eyes for you, as I pleaded for you, to give me only a reason why I stand for you.
I would have died for you simply would have lied for you, not LIED for you, but laid down my fight as I desperately would have cried for you.
I would have rested in that shallow grave as I laid down my life for you. But no now I wonder why? When for so long I have tried for you.

None of it made since the pain was taking over from within, Losing all I lost I was in tragic spin
Spiraling to the dark rest was where I laid my soul, as one by one I lost all my simple control
You say you were always there I just needed to ask, I say then why was being sober such a hard task
If you were there you would not have kept that bottle to your lips, and drank away your concern with all those little sips.
You say I should have noticed the booze you consumed to drink away, how about notice that I was blinded by the loss of my friends each day.
You see I was struggling too as you left me there in my pain, it all seems so familiar it all seems like the same.
To where we have been a puppet controlled on a string, left hanging by noose as life begins to swing
In a direction that was unexpected and lonelier than we would know, clinging to life of hurt it is time to let go.

So did you see the pain inside for you, as I realized my feelings inside died for you, or did you just close your eyes so you can travel the journey that you said you needed, so I would give up the fight for you?
I would have kept the fight for you, But I was not your concern any longer so my heart was left admired by who? not you. You see I took all the things you said to me and I thought they were tried and true.
Only for you to back out as I said I was done with you, then you tell me that you want me as my faith died for you. You see I am no saint but you guys were my life I thought you knew. Until you said I wasn’t needed and I realized fuck it I am not going to cry for you.