There were sharks in our mouths
This is what November tasted of;
Blood and not knowing you were an ocean.
Pulling out stitches, maybe if I let more air in I can keep an open mind–
You told me you were leaving and I just can’t wrap my hands around it
You told me you were leaving and I’ve tried so hard to hold your words but darling they are just too heavy.
My legs felt like cobwebs and I couldn’t seem to stand on my own two feet long enough to run myself too far;
Crimson November skies running over my cheekbones
How long before I’m too far?
I walked home the day after you left–
Your voice like a thunder crack playing on repeat inside my head
I’ve told them I’m a lion,
I’ve told them I’m a phoenix, that I am the strings of bravery holding my bones together,
But I walked home the day after you left–
I held my heart like a strangers hand
Like a bruise on the inside of my cheek,
Like silence, was our only language and still, I could only speak a few words–
The ones that you taught me, after you’d left.
You’d think the war inside of us would have broken the sky open,
Would have cracked our spines till we could finally stand tall enough, to look at ourselves as a whole, before we all became “I” instead of “us.”
You’d think that they could hear the gunshots being fired beneath our blood;
You’d think they’d at least notice the smoke on our breath,
The chiseled afterlife of the cigarettes you promised weren’t yours.
I’d do anything to feel the sting of your hand across my face,
To hear your voice vibrating through the walls as you screamed how disappointed you were in us
How we didn’t need to fall apart
I miss the way we were so broken;
Because broken is better than gone.