Weekend Woods Trip
Sitting in the Wren Lodge, passing away the time
Trying to relax my muscles and slow my racing mind.
Came here to relax, kick back and have some fun–
Trekked a four hour hike, might be my last one.
Maddy, Mom and I at the Burr Oak Autumn Fest,
“Let’s go to a craft show” was my mother’s request.
Started out alright, the cabin was cute and bright–
Then Saturday morn I awoke with five ‘squito bites.
Set out for adventure, thought we’d take a hike–
One mile became six before we had to hitch a ride.
Now sweaty and stinking, into the shower I jump,
Only to realize we had a five minute hot water pump.
With one leg shaven, and goose bumps everywhere,
Mom decides it is time to head to the craft fair.
Three merchant booths down and Maddy has to pee,
Nope, it’s diarrhea, an hour in the lavatory.
Time to check on mason now, so I pull out my phone–
Power it up, wait a sec and see “no service” shown.
That’s OK, I call collect and speak to my little boy,
“Where are you mommy? Daddy hid my toys.”
Time for dinner. What to eat? Mom and I look around–
Baked beans and apple butter are all that could be found.
An hour later, feeling sick, I curl up on my side–
Maddy pulls my arm and says, “Time for our hay ride!”
I follow her out, simply forgot my jeans and bug spray,
It certainly isn’t fun to have bare legs rubbing on the hay.
Ride ends, back to the cabin, now it’s freezing outside,
They both fall asleep, I just shake my head and sign.
Restless and itching, I head back to the lodge–
Attempting to sort through feelings I can’t seem to dodge.
Park the car, get out. What is that I see?
Two skunks poised together with their tails aimed right at me.
Miraculously, I escape, into the lodge front doot–
Pondering precisely what it was we came to these woods for.
My amaretto sour soothes, but doesn’t heal my irritation,
A big smelly fellow stumbles over, begins an interrogation.
“Listen Bub, not interested,” I state simply and direct,
took him thirty seconds to figure out what I meant.
Dumbfounded, he leaves my table, I reach for a pen,
I jot down the adventure of our little Woods Weekend.
(2012)
