2:02 am
jotting down my thoughts trying to make sense of it all shaking hands stiff fingers i cannot even self soothe anymore
my mind is loud tonight, i am struggling to sift through it… overwhelmed by every detail. feel like i don’t exist feel like i am replaceable
if i died in my room, whether it were an accident or int… how long would it take for you to… everything is about you, you, you so where does that leave me?
i crave your touch trace my bones caress my skin hold me close never let me go
it is so incredibly draining to feel so passionless. i just want to feel useful interesting
i feel... “okay” really that means i’ve been dissoc… it means distracted it means ignoring what upsets me it means crying less,
i wonder if i cross your mind i wonder of thoughts of me creep u… and whisper in your ear i wonder if you take a second glan… at my name when i call
people have hurt me. taken advantage and made me feel unsafe. you have never harmed me, so why does it bother me so much
always been taught to prioritize other people’s pain over my own trained selfish if i speak about myself at… supposed to normalize anger
tear me limb from limb turn me to dust my life impacts no one why do i exist? i am disappointing
there is a creature that is living inside of me– a parasite that feeds on hatred and pain. i promise it isn’t my fault.
i have weeds growing from my skin i am one with earth and still feeling unnatural i sit, water pours i am blooming
same old patterns, willing to give my love away. but what’s the shame in that? yes it hurts - never quite reciprocated -
i’m the only one awake between dusk and dawn. i see the faint moonlight caressin… the low sunlight in such a way, that they seem to speak through on…
i love you more than i ever though… you fell into my life when i didn’t expect a thing you fell into my life when i needed you most