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Stressing My Thoughts

Sometimes I wish I could read another’s mind.
To understand if I had messed up or not.
But every day I just slowly start to unwind.
When I learned I messed up on something a lot.
I don’t worry about many but family and close friends.
And Bella, the girl of my dreams and more.
She gives me a feeling that never ends.
And it gets to my heart directly to the core.
I hate the sound of people of false assumptions.
About who I am because of the ones I am surrounded by.
Where they eat at me until deconstruction.
I cant live with it so I ask god why?
People think I am like my father because of appearance.
But in my heart I am different beyond words can say.
And people judge me before an actual experience.
I haven’t smiled because of what I go through day by day.
And I don’t know if I can keep a straight face.
I am worn and stressed and can’t take anymore.
I just can’t handle without that ones grace.
And it gets to my heart directly to the core.

(2014)

i wrote this before i learned what had happened on the other side of the table.

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