Tempting
I’m pacing
Heart racing
Afraid of my thoughts
Afraid of my blaming
Cause in the end it’s always me
I’m always the problem to so many
Everything I touch dies
I’m trying to smile but I’m hiding with lies
I’m unhappy but I’m fighting with my mind
I want myself to stop thinking of suicide
Why arnt these meds working
The doctor said it would stop the hurting
I shouldn’t feel this way
I shouldn’t feel like I’m burning
I can’t make anything stop
My mind is always turning
I have everything going
I have a life of children that I need to feed
But what is this darkness that’s hiding so deep
What is this pain that I cannot see
Inside out its eating me!
I’m empty, I lay on this bed, tempting
But I stop myself cause I hear my kids mention
Knocking on the door saying let me in
All my life I've lived with depression, even now when I have everything it's still there. I have an amazing life to live for & I fight myself for feeling this way when it's obvious I shouldn't be, but my children keep me going and they are my life now.
