I’m trying to be somebody that I’m not
Always on the outside looking in
Saying this and doing no good
A stranger in a stranger’s skin

There are so many words I want to say, yet I can’t get any of them out. When I say “I love you”, it tastes of vinegar. When the words are “It’s ok”, bleach fills my nose. But the worst of all is when I try to say “I’m sorry”. It turns to ash in my mouth.

So this is my sorry. This is my coming to senses. I’ve been told “Don’t hold yourself back”, and “There are always others”. A wise person told me to find someone who has interests within my scholarly field. Now I know, I should listen to them.

Maybe someday, there will be a time where we meet on a street, or in a park, with families in tow, and we can smile knowing we did the right thing by following our own paths.

You know that key you gave me, the one to your heart? Well, when I tried to open the chest, the key got stuck. And that’s what we are; stuck. Stuck in a rut that rules our lives. It shouldn’t get stuck, so maybe somebody else has the magic touch to open the chest to your heart. If you give her a chance you’ll find her. She’s out there, waiting.

And now I say goodbye. Not much of a note to you, more than a long letter, but that’s how life is; never short, not always sweet, but worth it all the same.