If I would have had a mother
If I would have had a mother
I would have wanted to know that I could have someone to run to
when I got a cut on my knee or I got called a name
that I could always have found my way to her
I would have wanted someone to teach me more than school ever could
I would have wanted to learn from her rather than anyone
that this life will slap you hard in the face and
it will wait for you to stand back up just so that it can kick you in your stomach
I would have wanted to learn from her
that getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way
to remind your lungs
how much they appreciate the taste of air
There is hurt here that cannot be healed by First-Aid or poetry
I wanted to know that my superhero wasn’t coming for me
but that even though this is so, I would have had mommy
I would have wanted someone to help me catch all the drops of pain
that were leaking from me
and those tears never failed to escape
I wanted someone to hold me while I cried
over a boy that I thought I could fix or change
and there is always a boy that needs fixing or changing
and I tried, believe me
I wanted someone to send me rainboots
that I could wear as the hurt laid inside me
because rain will wash everything away
if you let it
I would have wanted someone to teach me that it is okay
to let the pain go
