Longing for Acceptance
My mind is clouded by thoughts
My heart is clouded by emotions
Emotions that are new to me
Emotions that bring joy
Emotions that bring pain
A lonely soul longs for company
My soul was lonely
Empty with numbers and equations
Empty with Darwinism and Mendelism
Empty with goals and dreams
Empty with expectations and failures
But I was not alone
There was another lonely soul out there in the void
Enduring the same storm
Quiet, shy and simple
With a certain beauty hidden to the mundane eye
With a certain captivating charm
Why did I allow myself to feel alive?
Why I allowed myself to dream?
Why did I allow myself to be happy for once in my life?
After all who am I to be loved?
Who am I to condemn you to me?
Who am I to love you?
I bare the mark of pain
The mark of sorrow
But your presence, your omnipotence allows me to go on
Though you still lay deeply rooted to me heart
Though I still hope for a miracle
Though I still find myself longing for your love
Though your silence hurts me more than your words
Though your gestures bring me hope
I have stumbled upon acceptance
For in my presence your smile in absent
And for the love and affection that for you I have
For the emotions that I know we share
I must kill my love
I must
For my presence bring you pain where joy existed
I must
For in your face I see the words that you cannot say
I must
For in you reactions I see the feelings that you do not understand
I must
For I love you
I must
For your happiness is worth the sacrifice
(2014)
Reality can be traumatic, but realization can be painful but acceptance requires love...
