August Storm
August Gulf coast Texas
Stifling oppressive heat and humidity
This is when we came to this city
45 years ago
A terrifying world it seemed
Unfamiliar face
Kids who were mean
I remember a storm
So violent and strong
Thunder and lightning
Clapping in a tempest
Outside in the lawn
I was terrified at what
This new realm could portend
A life of failure and rejection
Unhappiness and sin
Like the rain pounded the ground
My tears fell day after day
I was too sensitive and fragile
To take the bullying and hate.
I did not know what to do
I needed somewhere to go
Travelling inward
and closing the door
I carved out a space
A cave a hole in the wall
My own place in my mind
Where I could be alone.
I’ve stayed in there so much
Probably too much it seems
Because now my life has passed me by
And it all seems like a dream
I wish I could have allowed
Myself to be happy just once
I wish I could have been
Someone other than who I was.
I never could smile for your pictures
I scoffed at Christmas songs.
I drank and smoked and partied.
Delusions oblong.
Now you’re gone.
You did your best
I am still here
And can attest
Without your love
I shudder to think what I would be
Just an ugly monster in this world
Living in Craven depravity
I am still here in this place
Now I’m locked in solitude’s embrace
I have reckoned for the world, I am all wrong
So I compose strange, sad music and songs
Evening comes and night falls
Look at the silent walls
Turn away, darkness shone
Embrace collective eternity’s home
Morning heat shines hot
Like so long before
And by the end of afternoon.
Some August rain is gonna pour
