noise
hearts beat loudly inside of chests
lungs expand and retract with an audible sigh
noses sniffle and knuckles crack
human noise is distracting
i am quick to notice the human noise of others
hearing a heartbeat in the chest of a lover
tending to the sniffles of a sick child
smiling at laughter of a friend
all of these auditory cues
prove to me that the people i surround myself with are people
they are alive
they are breathing and laughing and sniffling and their hearts are beating wildly inside their chest
the sounds reverberate
they echo and spread
they knock against the sides of my skull and i cannot help but cover my ears
and wish for silence
i have mastered the art of muting myself
my heartbeat is barely a thump
and my breath couldn’t shift the dust hanging in the air
the conscious effort i make to keep my volume low is exhausting
but i do not like the sound of being alive
i am cautiously aware of the noise i make.
i wrote this on a bad night where my heartbeat was deafening. i'm learning to love my human noise, though.
