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Some Dream

Without worrying
wanting more and more
pleased, that time allowed me
this outer layer skinned and shorn
finally is this pallidness, precisely peeled
packaged, and then neatly put away…
Allowing me, to now concentrate, to
initiate the whole consciousness
of my inner shapes and forms
surprisingly supple, and red apple
fresh, this flesh, this flame, this physical
reality of the each and every one of US…
Then, awareness sets itself in, to this totality
this surreal and abstract moving moment’s,
comedy, raising within me a rasping, gasp
that hysterical laugh, that past processed
improbable, exploding into screaming pain…
What a shame it is, I boldly think, that
“love”, of self or of others, does not
induce such extenuatingly caustic
emotional tense and complaint…
Too late to unpack that put away
flesh, that flaccid mess of what was
the previous visual me; indeed the thought
of stitching that hide back onto my inner sides
causes me to uncontrollably laugh out loud
and cry out in unimaginable anguish…
Can you imagine my conundrum?
Do you sympathize with my
undone situation, my
relative condition
a skinless rendition
what was designed
perfection, that which
I had rejected and subjected
and perplexingly peeled off of
my physical essence folded neatly
and put to a purposeful rest; what
could be the nexus of all of this?
Connection of all connections
with conviction, attempting
to recondition that which is
without any one doubt an
impossible proposition…
The what ifs flood my
unconsciousness, the pain
becoming torturous, furthering
this unreal, and absolute surrealisme; this
which I have done to me, to this whole of me
in awareness and with complete dignity I
struggle to rise from this deep despair
and I gasp for air, for one final breath
taken before I suddenly awaken
from this sweat wrenching
horrifyingly howling
nightmare of my
dreams …

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