Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker

For years we’ve had a little dog, Last year we acquired a big dog; He wasn’t big when we got him, He was littler than the dog we had… We thought our little dog would lo…

Bring down the moon for genteel J… She’s too refined for this gross p… She wears garments and you wear cl… You buy stockings, she purchases h… She say That is correct, and you…

Toward a better world I contribut… I eat the squab, lest it become a…

One cantaloupe is ripe and lush, Another’s green, another’s mush. I’d buy a lot more cantaloupe If I possessed a fluoroscope.

Who is the happy husband? Why, in… 'Tis he who’s useless in the time… Who, asked to unclasp a bracelet o… Contrives to be utterly futile, fu… Or when a zipper nips his loved on…

Let’s straighten this out, my litt… And reach an agreement if we can. I entered your door as an honored… My shoes are shined and my trouser… And I won’t stretch out and read…

O all ye exorcizers come and exorc…

There is one thing that ought to b… Which is that people ought to be t… I don’t mean the kind of apologies… Because I think that is sort of s… No, I object to one kind of apolo…

People expect old men to die, They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People loo… At them with eyes that wonder when… People watch with unshocked eyes;

The truth I do not stretch or sho… When I state that the dog is full… I’ve also found, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

Hypochondriacs Spend the winter at the bottom of… the Adirondriacs. You go to Paris and live on champ… If you’re dipsomognac.

The summer like a rajah dies, And every widowed tree Kindles for Congregationalist eye… An alien suttee.

The hands of the clock were reachi… In an old midtown hotel; I name no name, but its sordid fam… Is table talk in hell. I name no name, but hell’s own fla…

Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendents Outnumber your friends.