Yobbos
Or What We Might Learn in Glubbdubdrib
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The Yobbo-In-Chief is a very elegant man,
a very stable genius is what he says
that everyone calls him.
He can get quite lyrical when he speaks of his own attributes,
and has no time for foolish people’s “facts”
and stupid “logic”.
The Yobbo-In-Chief cuts a very fine figure of a man
in his bright orange hair and his perfect
orange skin.
He’s quite a well-fed yobbo, round and soft
and flabby, with tiny delicate hands,
tiny delicate fingers,
and a penchant for mentioning his man parts,
which he insists are nothing like his hands,
and a joy for him see.
The Yobbo-In-Chief knows everybody loves him
and becomes apoplectic and abusive when
people suggest otherwise.
The Yobbo-In-Chief is a very wise man, aware that
there are decent people among the violent haters,
and that fighting hate is a ridiculous
and un-American thing,
and he’s quite clear that science is just gobbledygook,
nonsense meant to confuse and mislead
the ordinary man.
The Yobbo-In-Chief loves all the ordinary yobbos
for their blind and sycophantic adoration
of him, that keeps
his power, prestige, and plain old grandness,
in plain sight for all to see.
The Yobbo-In-Chief has a great and paranoid plan,
a grand and manic scheme that makes the yobbos cheer,
to be President-In-Perpetuity,
no matter what the naysayers say,
and he tells the yobbos they know what
to do about them.
The yobbo class is a very colourful mob of monkeys,
draped in their Rebel flags, their American flags,
and surrounded by their guns.
They’re a very confident mob, who know their
peculiarly elegant religion is strongly attached
to love of hate and hate of love,
because that’s what their god and their president
has told them, and their president is never wrong.
The yobbos know they’re washed in “the blood”
of “the lamb”, inside and out,
and they know that, while thousands are getting sick
and dying, their Jesus keeps them safe,
and their president reassures them that
the sickness is no big deal.
The yobbos know that science is satanic,
“satinic” as they sometimes say
in their superior form of literacy,
because Satan is a well-dressed man.
The yobbos know that women are submissive,
gays are deviant, and “the blacks”
have formed a terror squad.
The yobbos know that their Chief will be president
forever, and they have their guns
to prove it.
*
I wish they’d wake up from this dream,
so we can awaken from this nightmare.
