Poem: Who am I?
Look at me, who am I?
my life has been one long lie.
Fooling myself and others too,
pretending to be what isn’t true.
I am a clown with made up faces,
my painted on smile left no traces.
Outside I am happy, joyous and gleaming,
inside I am hurting, crying and pleading.
I never show true feelings at all,
going on with life; pretending to have a ball.
The whole world spins around in my head,
like a carousel’s horses with their saddles of red.
This pain inside I cannot bear;
Screaming out loud “Who cares!”
I was hoping, I would find;
just one person who liked to be kind.
Needed someone to cuddle and hold;
someone loving, protective and bold.
Maybe if, they could compose,
an answer to this question I’ve exposed.
“Who am I?” seems simple,
but is such a scare.
Where is the answer;
will it ever be there?
Many times I reached for Angel,
who’s beauty was so much;
She decided to move far away
staying forever out of touch.
In months past I prayed for absolution;
counted every hour.
Now I know,
it’s beyond my power.
Those who made it this way
do not worry.
They go on with life,
in such a hurry.
If ever they realize,
it will be too late.
I am already walking
through the open gate.
I hear the voices in the
language of death.
I look back and see
there is nothing left.
I stumble and fall at
the foot of the wall.
I see this person;
try to call.
They hear my question
and realize;
My actions have caused
Love’s demise.
I look back,
as I descend.
A prayer for a new beginning,
has become my end.
(2015)
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