I wish I could’ve forgot my old self on the north side
but I remember everything I wanted to forget back on the south side.
Maybe I need to take a trip to the west side,
change my name forget the old me along with you.
They say when you dream about somebody they’re dreaming about you
but I know that can’t be true because I know for a fact she’s sleeping with you.
I’ve been the mistress before it’s time for me to be the wife.
I’m tired of giving and getting all this strife.
They say when it’s real you don’t have to question it,
but I had to question it cuz of all of her shit.
How can it be a relationship if its a love triangle?
I’ve got questions that’s keeping me in shackles.
These unanswered questions are holding my life in shambles.
How can I move on when you wouldn’t allow me any closure?
You never held me down, you always held me back.
Why can’t that be clarity enough to move on and forget everything we lacked?
I know I don’t fall in love easily but it’s even harder for me to fall out of love.
I wish I could just be fickle, find somebody else that makes me forget about you quick.
Find somebody that makes everything stick and not fall apart.
Why do guys have to be needed, why can’t they be happy with being wanted?
You downgraded to crazy and I’m losing myself to being shady.
Ignoring my friends and my family,
letting their calls roll over to voice mail.
I’m being more introverted than what’s accepted by society.
I’m flying off the rails and I don’t have enough in me to try and slow down.
How many chances was I supposed to give you?
Taking you back was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
I wanted to be weak and let you just keep lying to me.
But the last time we tried to make love
I felt like you were trying to shove us together
and I just wanted you to let me fall apart.
I had an eerie feeling from the start,
but I didn’t realize that afterwards
I wouldn’t want to wake up being me.

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Sarana Conradie
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