Guilt
Woke up a bit lighter,
like a weight has temporarily
been lifted off of me.
New life paths unfolding in front of me.
Reality with you felt like a dead end.
Maybe even a fork in the road.
Slowly my mind replacing,
thoughts of you.
Like I has no more room
to feel these feelings.
Afraid to move forward
with these new ideals,
because memories of you
are drifting away.
See I wanted this whole
reality with you -
really believed it to be true.
Going in circles as we usually do,
ended up in me losing you.
Im mourning my past self,
the naive self -
the one that did not feel the hurt.
Did not know the outcome,
did not yet feel this feeling.
Of shedding the old layers
of your past self,
and stepping into a person
you do not recognize.
How will this new me act?
How will this new me feel?
Is this new me good?
The light feeling becomes heavy,
almost a guilt.
Made a promise I could not keep,
I could not keep you around.
You kept driving me deeper
into the ground.
