“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

‘If you are old and have the shake… If all your bones are full of ache… If you can hardly walk at all, If living drives you up the wall, If you’re a grump and full of spit…

I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe But suddenly I begin to see A bit of good luck for me ‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle i… Cover it in chocolate and a miracl… The candy man, the candy man can The candy man can ‘cause he mixes… And makes the world taste good

I had a little nut-tree, Nothing would it bear. I searched in all its branches, But not a nut was there. ‘Oh, little tree,’ I begged,

‘No animal is half as vile As Crocky-Wock, the crocodile. On Saturdays he likes to crunch Six juicy children for his lunch And he especially enjoys

As soon as Wolf began to feel That he would like a decent meal, He went and knocked on Grandma’s… When Grandma opened it, she saw The sharp white teeth, the horrid…

Come with me and you’ll be In a world of pure imagination Take a look and you’ll see Into your imagination We’ll begin with a spin

In England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain That Piggy had a massive brain. He worked out sums inside his head…

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! How long could we allow this beast To gorge and guzzle, feed and feas… On everything he wanted to?

‘Dear friends, we surely all agree There’s almost nothing worse to se… Than some repulsive little bum Who’s always chewing chewing gum. (It’s very near as bad as those

Gooses, geeses I want my geese to lay gold eggs f… At least a hundred a day And by the way I want a feast

‘Attention please! Attention plea… Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to… Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awak… Your health, your very life’s at s… Ho–ho, you say, they can’t mean me…

A woman who my mother knows Came in and took off all her cloth… Said I, not being very old, ‘By golly gosh, you must be cold!’ ‘No, no!’ she cried. 'Indeed I’m…