As I was going to St Ives I met a man with seven wives Said he, 'I think it’s much more… Than getting stuck with only one.’

“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

I guess you think you know this st… You don’t. The real one’s much mo… The phoney one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago, And made to sound all soft and sap…

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle i… Cover it in chocolate and a miracl… The candy man, the candy man can The candy man can ‘cause he mixes… And makes the world taste good

“This famous wicked little tale Should never have been put on sale It is a mystery to me Why loving parents cannot see That this is actually a book

Gooses, geeses I want my geese to lay gold eggs f… At least a hundred a day And by the way I want a feast

I never thought my life could be Anything but catastrophe But suddenly I begin to see A bit of good luck for me ‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

‘No animal is half as vile As Crocky-Wock, the crocodile. On Saturdays he likes to crunch Six juicy children for his lunch And he especially enjoys

The most important thing we’ve lea… So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set— Or better still, just don’t instal…

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! How long could we allow this beast To gorge and guzzle, feed and feas… On everything he wanted to?

I had a little nut-tree, Nothing would it bear. I searched in all its branches, But not a nut was there. ‘Oh, little tree,’ I begged,

‘Attention please! Attention plea… Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to… Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awak… Your health, your very life’s at s… Ho–ho, you say, they can’t mean me…

‘Dear friends, we surely all agree There’s almost nothing worse to se… Than some repulsive little bum Who’s always chewing chewing gum. (It’s very near as bad as those

‘If you are old and have the shake… If all your bones are full of ache… If you can hardly walk at all, If living drives you up the wall, If you’re a grump and full of spit…