The most important thing we’ve lea… So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set— Or better still, just don’t instal…

“My teacher wasn't half as nice as… His name was Mister Unsworth and… And when you didn't know a date he… And start to twist while you sat t… He'd twist and twist and twist you…

“This famous wicked little tale Should never have been put on sale It is a mystery to me Why loving parents cannot see That this is actually a book

Gooses, geeses I want my geese to lay gold eggs f… At least a hundred a day And by the way I want a feast

As soon as Wolf began to feel That he would like a decent meal, He went and knocked on Grandma’s… When Grandma opened it, she saw The sharp white teeth, the horrid…

I had a little nut-tree, Nothing would it bear. I searched in all its branches, But not a nut was there. ‘Oh, little tree,’ I begged,

Round the world and home again That’s the sailor’s way Faster faster, faster faster There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction we are going

In England once there lived a big And wonderfully clever pig. To everybody it was plain That Piggy had a massive brain. He worked out sums inside his head…

‘Attention please! Attention plea… Don’t dare to talk! Don’t dare to… Don’t doze or daydream! Stay awak… Your health, your very life’s at s… Ho–ho, you say, they can’t mean me…

There’s no earthly way of knowing Which direction they are going! There’s no knowing where they’re r… Or which way they river’s flowing! Not a speck of light is showing,

Oh you Knid, you are vile and ver… You are slimy and soggy and squish… But what do we care ‘Cause you can’t get in here, So hop it and don’t get ambitious!

‘Veruca Salt, the little brute, Has just gone down the garbage chu… (And as we very rightly thought That in a case like this we ought To see the thing completely throug…

Hey diddle diddle We’re all on the fiddle And never get up until noon. We only take cash Which we carefully stash

‘Augustus Gloop! Augustus Gloop! The great big greedy nincompoop! How long could we allow this beast To gorge and guzzle, feed and feas… On everything he wanted to?

I guess you think you know this st… You don’t. The real one’s much mo… The phoney one, the one you know, Was cooked up years and years ago, And made to sound all soft and sap…