My Christmas Bath
I don’t know what everybody around me is complaining about. I took my Christmas bath last December, and I’ll take my next one next Christmas, whether I need it or not.
I love to smell my funk. At least somebody does. I also love being alone. I can always get a seat on the bus. When the people smell me coming, they move to another spot or either catch another bus the next time. Sam, the bus driver, is so nice to me. He suggested that I buy a car. He is so concerned about my welfare.
I had a wonderful time yesterday. It was a hot day, so I went fishing at the cesspool. I didn’t catch anything, so I dove in and went for a swim. Then afterward, I had a picnic at the garbage dump. There was plenty of food to go around. I didn’t want to go home on an empty stomach.
Snow White and I have a lot in common. She has animals and birds flocking around her. I have flies buzzing around. My pet fly, Fred, brought his whole family with him yesterday; one hundred and twenty sons and two hundred and four daughters. They were so cute.
I dread it when Christmas rolls around again. I have to take another bath. I can’t break the Christmas tradition, you know. What a wonderful life I have.