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The Patient Patient

“You have reached St. Thomas Hospital.
We are located at 64 North Main Street.
For the dental clinic, please say one.
For the main hospital, please say two.
“One,” said the patient patient into the phone.
“You have reached St. Thomas Hospital.
We are located at 64 North Main Street.
For the dental clinic, please say one.
For the main hospital, please say two.”
“One,” said the perplexed patient.
“You have reached St. Thomas Hospital.
We are located at 64 North Main Street.
For the dental clinic, please say one.
For the main hospital, please say two.”
“One,” said the outraged dental patient.
“You have reached St. Thomas Hospital.
We are located at 64 North Main Street.
For the dental clinic, please say one.
For the main hospital, please say two.
“One,” said the screaming impatient patient.
“You have reached St. Thomas Hospital.
We are located at 64 North Main Street.
For the dental clinic, please say one.
For the main hospital, please say two.
“One, one, one, you stupid morons, you idiots.
I want the dental clinic, dental clinic.
You automated nut cases,
You mathematical dropouts,
You technological know it alls,
You conundrum freaks,
You lowest on the scale of intelligences,
Fix your & % $ @ answering machine,
You inept telephone setter uppers, you, you, you,”
Said the totally incensed impatient patient,
About to turn into a retaliation beast.
“Did you say two?’ replied the machine.
"Please hold while I connect you
To the main hospital.”

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