The Suppression

I was invited to my high school’s twentieth year reunion.  I haven’t been back to my former school since then, and was anxious to see my old friends, especially Jim who I grew up with.  I lost touch with him through the years.  I didn’t know anything about what he was doing, so off I went to my old town that I haven’t seen in all those years.  
When I arrived in the town, it wasn’t hard to find where he lived, especially since he was still in the same house that I knew.  When I knocked on the door, the most beautiful girl opened it up and greeted me with a big smile.  I introduced myself, and she knew exactly who I was, but I didn’t know who she was.  Her father told her all about me.  She was a sixteen year old kid who looked liked a twenty six year old.  I tried to act cool, but my heart was racing.  
Her father was so glad to see me again.  He invited me in and asked me if I was hungry.  I was hungry for his daughter, but tried so much to suppress the feeling.  She sat across the living room with her skirt hiked above her knees.  Her silken legs glistened in the sunlight that was peeking through the window. She was in her bare feet, and her toe nails were beautifully manicured.  My palms were sweaty and I felt a lump in my throat.  I tried not to stare at her, so I pretended to be more interested in what he had to say.   I was nervous and kept saying to myself, “She’s just a kid, she’s just a kid.  I’m a thirty seven year old man.”
My friend Jim told me his family usually goes for a swim in their pool before dinner and asked me if I brought my bathing suit with me.  I could imagine playing in the water with his daughter, picking her up and putting her on my shoulders with her legs wrapped around my neck. I could imagine she and I were lovers. We were swimming nude, alone, in our own private pool with roses floating about.  What an exhilarating feeling that arose in me.
Human nature, that incited beast that it is, stops at nothing to move ahead.  It thinks with its loins and acts with its passion.  It doesn’t matter if elders should be guardians and the innocent should be guarded, or whether young girls are women or not.   Just as long as the scent arouses, man does his thing, his bestial thing.  He still lives in caves before chivalry, kindness, and abstinence were invented.  Women are just objects to give pleasure.  Our basic sexual needs are still barbaric and ancient.  Thank God for God, that we must honor womanhood and be civilized.  
I tried to suppress my feelings for his daughter, because he was my good friend, and I was so much older that she.  I tried to put my lured thoughts about her out of my mind.  Because she is so young, I have to think of her as my friend’s daughter and me as her elder.  She should learn about the ways of love from her parents, and experience them with her boyfriend in due time.
After our swim, I had to wait a while before I climbed out of the pool.  I couldn’t embarrass myself and expose my exuberance to every one.  After all, I am still a beast at heart that prowls about looking to please myself.

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