Awakening Thoughts
I woke up early
I can’t get back to sleep
Once again I go back
To all my fucked up memories
Even the good ones hurt
In fact, they are the worst
What I once had in the palm of my hands
Everything that has been broken down to grains of sand
Is now long gone
What did I do wrong
All of it’s blown away
The colors fade
Like my cursed faith
Why does it have to be me
I’m soaking up the rain
And drowning in my misery
I don’t have it as nearly as bad
As most people that walk this earth
But even so, I still undergo
All of this hurt
I’m not the worst person
Yet I’m not even close to the best
So I guess I can understand why I’ve lost it all
So I’m going to get it all off my chest
I have this burning desire
That makes my skin itch
I scratch and rip
Until there’s nothing left to fix
I, as a soul
Am broken
I, as a word
Am unspoken
I, as a scripture
Am unwritten
I, as a person
Am stricken
I can’t be better than I already am
It just wouldn’t work
And though I’m trying
I’m suffocating slowly with my face down in the dirt
Through the sweat and tears
Through the airless breaths
I can recall it all
As it burns through my chest
(2014)
