To my mother and father

I think this is how it should go
But I’m really not sure
I really don’t know
It seems like my life has just been an endless blur
Ups and downs
Trials and temptations
When you finish reading this
It could lead to devastation
But I have to let you know
I have to let you see
This is who I am
Who I always will be
You might not understand
You might not believe
You might even come to find
That you hate me
I have to tell you
Why I’m all messed up
I just don’t think you could ever love
A kid like me
Don’t you see?
I was born the wrong gender
I was born in the wrong body
I can’t help but be this way
I can’t help but like girls
And now maybe some of your questions have been answered
Meaning in other words
I’m transgender
And I like girls
I can’t help this
And that makes my stomach hurt
Don’t try to fix it
Don’t try to change me
I just want you to see
And love me for me
Whether you can do this
Whether you can accept this or not
I’ll always be your daughter
The son you lost
Because if you hate me now
Despise or recognize me in the wrong way
I’ll be gone forever after this fateful day
Mother of mine
Father I love
Please don’t hate me
Don’t give up
I love you enough
To let you in
To see me as I see myself
Drowning in what you call sin
I can’t love myself
Because I realize you might hate
Everything that I’ve ever been
But now it’s too late
To take this back
To make a change
Things will be different
They’ll never be the same
I think this is how it should go
I love you
I love both
So please hold on
Don’t let go
Do you still love me?
Check yes or no
Yes [ x ] No [  ]

(2013)

I wrote this for my parents and used it come out to them about my sexuality and who I am.

Transgender; Sin; Mother; Father; Hope; Terrified; Love; Faith

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J Ann Crowder
oltre 4 anni

Very personal poem, and heart felt. Those who love with conditions don't really love you. I hope your parents chose unconditional love.

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