Relapsing
I found you today..
I put you away so long ago, as I said I was threw..
Such a strong urge it was,
as you were placed between my thumb, and my index fingers.
To feel your cold, silvery body upon my arm..
just one time..
Be able to feel the blood running, and my skin splitting.
Feel that relief and just..
Exhale from satisfaction, after my arm is completely covered in your disgusting art.
Tears fall from my blood shot eyes, as I give into your temptation..
One cut.. Two cut.. Three..
Blood immediately begins to bubble to the surface of each slit..
Four cut.. Five cut.. Six..
I stop to wipe the red from running down the sides of my arm, and begin to cut more..
The thought of no tomorrow just overwhelms me, in such a great way at that moment.
I lay my head against the wall, grab my hair, as if I were going crazy, and I let out a cry.
As I ask God, “Why?”
“Why am I like this? Why is it so hard to not give in?”
