The Story of The Woman Who Saved My Soul
It all began one fateful night,
Struck by fright on many mushrooms,
This was when I sealed my doom,
The Fear took me and my sight was beyond insanity,
Spiraling words pouring out into a sea of awareness all about,
Trailing off into infinity as I endlessly shout, madly deploring humanity,
My mouth out of control, no dignity, the hole in my face in a mad place,
So sad for myself now, thinking back,
The way the next day my life turned black,
Panic attacks and drinking with pills,
Real sleeping problems, more mentally ill,
Even the past with the madness that lasted,
Was nothing compared with what had come to pass,
Winter that year was toil in hell,
Drunken and lonely, restless as well,
I hadn’t been with a woman in years,
All I had left was a lifetime of tears,
Before in the Fall I had fallen so hard,
A beautiful girl in my home with me scarred,
What I hadn’t known was the love of my life,
Destiny owned that I won through my strife,
My cousin’s best friend in my room saying hi,
My suffering’s end and a deep source of pride,
At time my own buddy used her to get high,
With me in my room dry heaving the lie,
The lie that I didn’t feel anything when,
He asked me for time with my love to spend,
My guts were wrenched open, downstairs was my friend,
With the girl that I loved, I thought my life would end,
I thought that my heart would just tear and rend,
I had no idea how far I would bend,
I heaved and I shook though my stomach was empty,
After an hour I felt I had plenty,
I made a choice that was easy for me,
Just at that point I needed relief,
I pilfered a tall glass of scotch like a thief,
And chugged the whole thing like some alky freak,
Going with him back to his home to stay,
For three days and nights, no sleep came my way,
And all of the time as I lay there in bed,
“I love you, Olivia”, repeated in my head,
I thought I was mad, at the end I sure was,
Close my eyes dreaming awake with no fuss,
The pain that I took at that time was for love,
This girl was divine like a gift from above,
We traded our numbers to talk and hang out,
She lived in my area, not my friend’s, the louse,
I tried to spend time with her but never did,
Then one day she called, and here’s what she said,
“I’m going to visit my friends in Toronto,
You can come with me if you really want to,”
I have a ton of close family there,
I went just to see her and wasn’t that scared,
The only thing of which I was aware,
Was that I wanted to see her, for that I did care,
We talked for ten hours, a long time for me,
With no one to talk to for eternity,
I loved her much more by the end of the ride,
I felt I adored her and I hadn’t tried,
Everything flowed out so naturally,
But when she dropped me off with my family,
Consumed by my doubt I then desperately,
Poured drink in my mouth and drowned my sanity,
Heavy downers to put my lights out,
My misery was a result of my doubt,
One night a bottle that was full at first,
Empty in hours to quench my hot thirst,
Twenty more pills of Ativan,
The very same night and still I could stand,
I was so ill, just half a man,
How I didn’t die, I don’t understand,
I woke up with tears spilling from my eyes,
That still had not come to realize,
While I was seeking only my demise,
I didn’t know that I’d win the prize,
Incredibly so though hopeless yet,
Self destruction got me set,
Our ride back home was so surreal,
Fifty pills to kill how I feel,
Giving her chills, she thought I would die,
A perfect driver, not like I,
A first for everything, ice on the road,
We spun on the highway, watch my soul explode,
Fifty pills now wide awake,
Feeling everything at once and what was at stake,
I had no more time, my move I did make,
Incredible what my heart can take,
My gentle touch upon her arm,
Telling her calmly there’ll be no harm,
No alarm inside me now,
The knowledge of victory death did cow,
My power lifted me up from my hell,
No longer in darkness must I dwell,
Like I said we ended up fine,
No cars but us as we spun like twine,
An inch away from the guardrail close,
I then knew everything, this I now boast,
She knew me then for who I was,
A woman does this when she loves,
On my hand she placed her own,
I knew the love that I then owned,
An angel above laid her blessings on me,
And for an age was harmony,
A Spring of Joy, a Summer of Love,
My personal Jesus, my woman, my dove.
I can’t believe how good life can be,
When you follow your heart to your destiny.
