To The New Guy
I'm still deeply in love with this girl, but seeing as we can't be together, I need to make sure that if she finds someone new they know how to make her happy. This was really hard to write, but it's what I would want to say.
Let me start just by saying that you are one lucky fuck,
I hope to God that you realise the extent of your luck,
This girl is all a man could dream of, in fact even more than that,
I would give up my left testicle to be sat where you’re sat.
I hope you’re ready to take any argument in your stride,
Because she’s worth fighting for and she’s worth more than your pride,
Of course you’ll fight, all relationships have ups and downs,
Just make sure you compromise instead of acting like a clown.
And everybody will fuck up at some point down the line,
Just make sure if that happens you’ll be honest every time,
No matter how small a thing you think it is don’t ever hide it,
You don’t want to go making all the same mistakes that I did.
You can trust this girl with your life; she’s so honest and pure,
And trust like that should work both ways, she’s worth doing it for.
I’ll give you some advice to help make things work for you both,
Because although I envy you her happiness matters the most,
And losing her’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through,
I don’t wish that on anyone, so here’s some guidance for you:
She really doesn’t like it when you watch her sleep,
But I strongly recommend that you just have a little peep,
Because there’s nothing quite as special as a real sleeping beauty,
It makes you feel you must watch over her like it’s your duty.
If you take her out for dinner she will never let you pay,
So book it in advance and say you paid the other day.
If you buy her jewellery get something purple and small,
She likes it to be understated yet still beautiful.
If you buy her clothes or shoes then you should get designer,
Abercrombie, Hollister, Jack Wills or something finer.
It’s not that she won’t wear clothes that aren’t made by the top brands,
It’s just that she deserves to have the best in all the land.
If you are a meat eater then listen close to this,
After eating meat you will go hours without a kiss,
If I could go back in time I’d turn fully vegetarian,
That long with no kiss from her I don’t think I could bare again.
It’s something you should make the most of; don’t take it for granted,
Her lips are coloured like the finest cherry ever planted,
So soft to touch, so warm to feel, so perfectly angelic,
They make your heartbeat skip so fast you’ll think you need a medic.
If I knew when I last kissed her that this kiss would be the last,
I would have done all I could to not let the moment pass,
I would have pulled her close to me and ran my fingers through her hair,
Kept my lips pressed against hers only stopping to get air,
Between each breath I’d tell her I love her so fucking much,
And that she made me tremble every time our bodies touch,
I would take her in my arms and I’d hold on to her so tight,
And I would kiss those perfect lips non-stop until the morning light.
My point is do not waste a second away from her,
You should just avoid meat every day for her,
And anything else that could create a gap,
Don’t do it, compared to her everything’s crap.
Be prepared for all eyes on your girl when you go out,
‘Cus every passing man will stop and stare without a doubt,
But then why wouldn’t they? It’s plain to see that this girl is a Goddess,
No matter what the competition she will be the hottest.
There’s not a man on earth who won’t be jealous of what you’ve got,
Wanting you to fuck things up so they can have a shot,
Don’t let them put you off, remember you’re the one she’s with,
And being with her makes your life incredible to live.
And trust me when I tell you nothing else in all the world,
Could make you feel as proud as it does to call her your girl,
Make sure you always treat her right ‘cus that’s what she deserves,
Don’t ever let your feelings scare you; she’s worth all the nerves.
Be sure to spoil her, she should be treated like she’s royalty,
Make her a cooked breakfast to have in bed with a cup of tea,
Roll two cigarettes for after and give her the second one,
She likes all things in even numbers, and it can always be done.
For instance, she has one spoon of coffee per cup,
So put in two half spoons to bring the number up,
She likes one piece of toast at a time so the craft,
Is quite simply to just cut the toast in half.
When you’re out she has to walk over two step drains,
She’ll cross roads if she has to; some people find it strange,
But it’s the little things like this that makes her who she is,
The most amazing girl alive who has so much to give.
If she’s had a bad day or if she’s feeling down,
Put on some Olly Murs and she’ll start dancing around,
Have Italian like pizza or pasta for dinner,
The food and music combination is always a winner.
Learn her likes and dislikes because then the more you know,
You can make her happier and stop her feeling low,
Always put her first no matter what the situation,
You should risk your life for this girl with no hesitation,
‘Cus once she’s in your life you can’t imagine her not in it,
She makes you feel complete so you should savour every minute,
Don’t forget for one second just how lucky you are,
She’ll make you feel top of the world like you’re a superstar.
I would say you don’t deserve her because she’s too good for you,
Way out of your league, but to tell you the truth,
She’s too good for everyone, in a league of her own,
But I really don’t want her to live life alone.
I wish that I could be the one to have her in my life,
Wake up next to her every morning, one day as my wife,
But I’ve accepted the fact that my wish will never be,
That’s why I want to help you love her if it can’t be me,
I need to make you understand that she’s one of a kind,
The only girl in the whole universe like this you’ll find,
Don’t fuck this up, if you lose her you will never recover,
You’ll be like me, forever without her but you still love her.
So to the new guy! I know I don’t even know you yet,
And you and she as far as I know haven’t even met,
But one day you will meet her and I promise you right now,
From that day on you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering how,
How you got so lucky to end up with a girl like this,
How someone could take your breath away with just one kiss,
How you were chosen by the girl everyone adores,
And how you got the one girl in the world who has no flaws.
New guy, please take care of her, whoever you may be,
Never let her go, you don’t want to end up like me,
Give her the life that she deserves; make her feel special every day,
And if you ever break her heart then I’ll kill you, ok?
(2013)
