Ash

and when you’re mad at me I get nauseas. The air stimulates it, food,  whatever is brought to my face gets me sick.The opposite of butterflies in the tummy. It’s an intense feeling.You utter no words at all. You disappear, your voice is still. Your soul is silent, your smile is not even a frown. My heart grows more painful every minute of your hurtful silence. My tummy weaker and mind more stupid than ever. I am so uneasy and I think of nothing constructive. At that moment something happens to me. I do not think anymore, I do not think about what I am busy doing, I litterly just do. Nothing matters more than your presence. Nothing at all can fill my empty tummy, like I said there’s no butterflies anymore. My heart leaks as happiness drips from it,  drawing it bit by bit. That’s how the fear of loosing you feels. The idea of it tastes like nothing because I can’t stomach anything.  The smell of it is filled with your perfume. The whole of is all that matters.


I had to write how this feels. I have felt it many times, but I don't like feeling it and don't want to feel it, so I had to write. Wearing my heart upon my sleeve as always.

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