"Vast Deserts" and "Wide Open Spaces"
What is so bad about spouting cliches,
That angers my fussy professors so?
Timeless phrases “refined to perfection”,
Which “people the world over” all know!
Why is it wrong, to be with words, right,
with truths unveiled some epochs ago?
Is not “a bird in the hand”, “as was said”,
Equal in value to two in the bush?
Ought not I “look before I leap”,
Or carelessly someone else push?
Does not a stitch in “the fabric of time”,
Nine of its kin spare us later?
Why are these “pearls of wisdom” sublime,
Seen by professors as instigators?
“How might I better convey to you”,
That I am certain “throughout and throughout”,
Than to exclaim, as equally true,
My thoughts, “beyond a shadow of doubt”?
Why not appeal, before we claim end,
Before time “drops the final curtain,”
To phrases the masses agree are “well said”,
Without leaving English majors “a hurtin’”;
(Communication is everyone’s friend,
Of that we can all be “quite certain”!)
And “spare me” the speech on “being unique”,
Or how it’s immoral to plagiarize words,
As if the thoughts you utter or speak,
Were not sometime before you, heard;
As if each word you spit from your beak,
Doesn’t belong to a lexicon’s herd.
“There’s nothing new under the sun” as was said,
And “you better get used to that fact,”
So call on the “wisdom of ages” “long dead”,
When hoping to “make an impact”,
And tell my professor, that “crazy ol’ coot,”
To kindly please “cut me some slack”!
Before I opt to “give him the boot”,
“I’m serious as a heart attack!”
He’s an “albatross around my neck”;
a mean ol’ “monkey upon my back”!
