Is the damage reversible? No ones to know as I lay alone on my pillow, I never really thought that I would want to recover, from the bone showing disorder that kept me from the thunder, of the sounds in my brain the aches in my heart. Everything was falling completely apart. That’s why I had to do it I had to confess, that I had a problem with how I looked in a dress. I thought I was fat but im really thin, to the point that a pebble could bruise my skin.

But how, how can this damage be reversed when there’s so much that’s happened to my body, I should be in a hearse. I should be dead, my bones are poking out so much that they should be going through my skin. Without a doubt In my mind. My mind. What’s wrong with my mind, that I’ve done this to myself I can’t even confine, the disorder anymore because of how I look, you can see it perfectly clear down to my foot.

Back to my normal weight? But what was that? I don’t even know how to get back, that way. All I’ve ever seen is fat I must have been at least 200 pounds. 120 you say? But all I saw was mounds. I don’t believe you. Recovery? I can’t do that, my head won’t allow it. But I want it so bad, just to fit back, into my old clothes. Help me to get back into those.
Therapy? I can’t afford it. I guess it all comes down to the cost. So many anorexics dead from not being able to pay, they were so lost in their disorder they didn’t have a job. Just like me, lost, and gone. I need the change, I need it to be reversed. Please help doc, I need your remorse.

This isn’t just psychological, can’t you see my pain? Can’t you see my bones and my skin it’s basically green. Pale, cold, bruised and broken. My disorder is more physical than any other spoken. No healthcare for this? No insurance? No bliss? Why can’t you help me? I’m dying from this.

Support groups? Do those help? I don’t want anyone else to know how I felt, how I feel. Can I get personal therapy? I guess it doesn’t matter considering the fee. Nothing can help me. I’ll just have to help myself. This disorder is reversible, but only with wealth.