pretending, by Sanityy Check

pretending

Its not real

I’m faking it all

This smile you see

Its only there for one reason

So that people don’t ask

If I’m alright

I’m so sick of that question

Because the honest answer is

No.

I’m not alright

I’m broken beyond repair

I have trust issues and I’m alone

But its better that way

And people don’t seem to like that answer

They say there’s medication

And there’s people to talk to

Don’t you get it?

I’m okay with being broken

I’ll put on a smile while you are all here

But the moment you leave

The smile will too

Pretending is what I’m good at

So pretending is what I’ll do

I knew that thIs would happen That this day would come That I would have to stand here And pretend to be strong But there are no words

Don’t be afraid of me I promise that one day you’ll see The reason why I’m closed The reason why I hide Its not because of you

I love the sound I love the way it smells And the way it feels There’s this magic about it How it washes away

Just maybe You’ll understand that Playing these games They get you nowhere Open up your eyes lovely

This isn’t something I’m good at Not something I understand But honey They’re not gone They’re right beside you

When you can feel it inside The sadness You feel it bubbling up You don’t want to do anything But you’re dying to do something

I am so sorry Because I love you and I couldn’t tell you. But how could I? You were never really mine to begi…