The Underwater Ruin (work in progress)
Hard to guess its meaning when it's not finished. I'm working on it..this is what happens when I start writing and don't check back...gotta start somewhere I suppose....you lose the idea...it'll gain structure though..and more meaning. Just needs work and a bit of attention.
I slid into waves, fell into water.
Fishes dragging me under
I went to swim to the surface.
But then an echo from beneath came
like thunder
I saw a structure that stood firm
Deep below in the murky depth
I felt my insides begin to churn
Knew I must have the secrets that it kept
An unrelenting and an unforgiving ruin
Touched not by the plan of ancient time
Familiar this echo drew me in
My breath held deep I kicked and did find
Myself at its gates, then beheld a shine.
Deep beneath the wavering water.
The silver reflective fish swam close
Whispers, “No, you are the lands daughter!
The desert is what you so have chose.”
“But I like it here”, I thought and stared
“It’s where I’d rather stay, it is my deed, nay, my need.”
They rippled through my heart and hair
Stretched above me as a halo of sea weed.
I did not, could not, would not take heed.
I could not as bad as I wanted to agree.
Confusion breeds confusion “leave me be!
To suffer, is part of my fatalistic breed.”
“Blame us not then when you find yourself alone”
I laughed and thought “It is my way, when I know I hear alike to mine, a tone.
They circled resisting me like wind.
”Let it be, for have I, to much already to atone.”
Do we not all feel such from time to time?
But we cannot know what we want
They glided with whispers as their sign.
“But I have I never meant to flaunt”
“It is just, I do know” I thought, “I do.”
And “to linger is here what I want”
“We shall show you then pull you up back through.”
Their shining scales beckoned me further into the gray
They changed their tune
Sang they did and would not say
Like a choir in the gloom.
“So only a moment then you must go”
All the while hinting, turn away
They downward swan into dark to and fro
Dashing around my legs and arms
They still had nothing to say
And could not disarm
The need, the desire I had to look further
A thing of beauty I had not seen before.
Tis not a sin to live forever in the deep and never ashore
That glittering ray hit my eye from an opening in the gloom
My breath held tight, I touched the corridor that ancients made.
And then I grew gills across my shoulders and so I led by the current,
I let it carry me further within the ruin.
I knew my journey unwise, voices coherent
But turn back I could not, dare I.
And the glitter ebbed and flowed and my eyes could it only behold.
It outshone the sun filtered through the surface above
Until time came only dark between it and I
“You will see no more sky!”
“Your light is there” they bubbled.
No my light is here I argued.
Here amongst the ancient rubble.
Against such whispers that I belonged to the light above
There’s only one way out they claimed
And still I swam deeper all the same.
I saw a light in the darkest recess of the sunken temple
What should’ve been so simple
Into the current I slid away
Taking me further away from the rays above
Of all I knew
To this glowing orb which drew me close.
And somehow I knew.
Caution to the wind I threw
And I regret not a single choice
My inner voice
My inner voice
Told me
“Come with us but then please go”
Their silver bodies all around my ankles and neck.
Me? forward then forcing me back
A question In the mind echoed
to go for fate or fight it?
My mind made up as I belonged to this
I shall never find one mistake amiss
For “No” I thought “What is there that glows?”
I asked desperately.
They stayed silent
“As I’m part of it now”
Why it didn’t infect?
With such safety and calm
Indeed I had not one qualm.
No matter how my life, lives its days and hours slow.
Time stopped then soon and too fast it did flow
I grabbed for it blindly in the gloom.
“You must never know” they foretold of doom.
“You will never know again, of home, your place.
There is no way back to trace.”
yet I smiled, “it’s what I want so anyway”
This is the only space
Such as I was ever searching
It is ruins but a place of refuge, I do not fear thee
For it is the same as me.
Beneath the waters wavering and murky
I knew I belonged in its steady glow
This orb, this mystery, I knew was not the sun
But I knew my life beside it was done
Written in the ancient wall I was a part
Yet even I must get closer.
Consequence weighed little beneath the water
“You are sands daughter!”
I simple ignored and went further.
I finally swam within it’s one entrance
Unmoving but the water held me safe.
Traced as it held my attention tight
So very perfect and bright
More than anything I’d felt inside before
I cared not for ascension
Or minor foolish sensations.
But I thought I can know!
just let me go!
The silver scales of my guardians gave up
And took me deeper through the door.
Light filtered through the waters depth
I feared so at first
Feared too late to understand
What it was I had fully into lept
But Id would do it again.
Bring me pain
The rest of all I do
Yet I feel ever more sane.
the ancient calling I’ve waited on for all time
A sign?
Coincide that it and I were meant to be .
Fear made me swim to the surface before for breath.
And no more
I’ll drown before I see the surface again
Or these gills keep me here until.
The wall itself is crumbled.
I cannot, will, sometimes stumble.
For that glow there in a ruin, ancient
figured beyond all help of its rise
Just needed love, patience, and light.
Something to keep it’s fight to glow on right.
A golden ray brought me closer and closer
Until the door behind me did crumble.
“Your here now”
And I looked back knowing
I can’t escape
I can swim within these waters
But trapped I am, eternal
The glow became a flame infernal.
Not a treasure but a curse
Bones laid under the orb of light
I’m not the first, no, not the first
To seek it’s riches.
To of your life it does enriches.
Are you here as well I thought?
The fishes merely watched
“We always were
But this is our place
It is not yours
When the wall stands in our way.
Your the cracks in the sidewalk.
Lead us away”
The shadows on the ground at night
The moon illuminates me but you stay indeed.
“You shall never feel free”
To love
But never quite over
Two both need the other
No never quite like this it seems
I let the ruins take me under.
Though that recent sound of thunder
Only muffles, echoes its breath
I floated weightless adoring
What we will see within this olden orb
Held tight and unable to change or move
spread it’s light and so enticed.
I’ll be a ruin within ruins forevermore
I shall look for an open door for a long time
Yet then. I did not. It simply waited suspended
The apex but a prison.
Not a window
I swam its perimeter
And not one exit in the gloom.
Where am I? I thought
And through my mind it answered
No ripple through time could be bought
I cared I not
for, I would burn and drown every word I’ve ever spoke or wrote
To understand this ruin so.
“From the same I learned how to run.
Why? Would I? Before a race even begins
I saw clouds before the gloom ever erasing the blackened sun
Oh what waters they could have been?
Oh to know, to have believed
This is why I have so grieved
In the waters trapped inside the grave.
I was never brave.
Never was so brave.
Oh it was not yet time to stray
But here I stay
Deep beneath a water
Forever In this silent cave.
What a mistake
What a mistake to make
Sometimes I wish I knew how to be fake.
Sometimes I wish from a nightmare I would wake.
Just a spark
Would leave a mark
But I regret not a single thing
Gladly suspended in water
Though always the lands daughter.
All the shark
That swim around this place
Dissipate into the dark
The pain when you finally found your place
And yet it’s only just another chapter
Another play.
A second act
A place you drown
Do I sink if I swim?
Do I sink or swim?
Only to find I am trapped
Willingly.
No matter what the stars whim.
The sunlight that filtered has now dimmed
As I had before feared
And the glowing orb is all but disappeared.
To be born again, waiting to be found.
Then you learn to realize it only leaves you bound.
When you know, you know
The silver fish laughed to and fro
When you know you know.
You follow the glow
And the sun bade you home
That it why you are alone.
I returned the smile and thought
”I am home.”
I shall be stolid
For I am solid
Yet, I regret it not, I’ll turn to stone.
When all words written before I become
meaningless in the new? but never numb.
You know
You have found something new
A treasure long searched under water for.
A place you feel new but
No space nor time will change the view
The view I have of you
This empty orb beneath the moss
It is my great loss
A lifetime of questions and thoughts
Empty a place will always be
When it resides within me.
There is no other water.
No other daughter
That will ever protect the orb
With her very self and time.
Glowing eerie and beautiful under ones water.
A ruin sublime
A place one climbs
A place sorrow, joy and breath will find
Yet the fish had one secret.
This orb capable of such a glow
Would dim until it glowed no more, nor show.
The light to be treasured would dim at last.
For it lived on too long in the jaded ruin of its own past.
—C.R.S
Uuumm...well? I have meaning in this I just gotta find it and convey it right...most certainly a work in progress...we shall see.
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