If you make the mistake of believi… there’s no room for error the surest way to avoid making ano… is to keep making the same mistake
When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs
So, how did we survive? We felt God’s Presence OMG, we would have never thought…
First they promised us belonging Afterwards they clarified that they meant You belong to us
The B is silent in subtle but spo… B-cause a B-ing B-comes human by saying the quiet… The B-all and end-all Is the B-ginning and the end
I bought a Toyota because it’s bulletproof to compensate for the fact that I’m not even rubber bulletproof
I always hoped My life would be Fortuitous So, I lived in fear Now I pray
In sci-fi movies They predict future crimes Arresting the accused Before they can start Much less finish
Whereas Mayor McCheese loved reading about himself in the newsp… ex-Mayor McCheese was served with divorce papers
Cyberspace is an unmaker’s space where we make the tech to unmake the people to make the money And though you can prepare
Men require 613 mitzvos to cleave… As tightly as God cleaves to them Which is indivisibly Women, born closer to God Require just 599 mitzvos to cleave…
My wife wears her heart on her sle… Yet remains a total mystery– How can she be so sure? I’m sure I don’t know But sure enough
Post-pandemic life is like being a… Who comes home only to find Her parents have replaced Her obviously dead goldfish With a new one
Can’t buy me love but you can buy me likes
You’ve met your femme fa– tale when you can’t stop wishful thinking about her
