Everybody knows The pen is mightier than the sword But few understand That it’s because The pen is a lightsaber

Optimists dance the two-step: It’s going to get worse before it gets better Pessimists plod

It’s when all the signs say Everything must go

Life’s greatest mystery is how other people could possibly have as little interest in my Spotify playlists

Would my dentist still want me to floss if he knew that’s how I justified not going to the dentist

You’ll know you’re but a prop In someone else’s mise en scene When, after the photo op And the choir’s said amen You’re left to close up shop

Privacy is when everyone can see you but no one is watching Surveillance is when no one can see you

Nero fiddles while Rome burns? Fiddle-de-dee! Nero riddles but Rome never learn…

When I got my first honey-do list after the wedding I explained to my bride that I us… until I was bitten by one of the 5… that don’t make webs

Would that my morning toilet were a ritual and not just the muscle memory of a muscle memory

In fragile civilizations Power is used to acquire status And status is just for decoration In resilient civilizations Self-sacrifice is recognized as th…

A planning committee’s second most… Is coming up with a plan That everyone can agree to But no one is happy with This sounds strange until you real…

God gives us what is necessary but not sufficient because nothing is ever sufficient

Feminism’s big mistake is thinking it can use a power vac… to clean up the patriarchy’s mess

The American cure for the boredom of meaninglessness is not to pursue meaning but to outpace boredom which is why our mass nihilism