There was no end in sight but we put an end to that by losing our sight And all we could hear was the sound of violence

On Fresh Air they always mention that their rock historian lives in France as if he were in exile from rock a… the same way James Joyce wrote ab…

Life is defined by failure But you can transcend failure If you die trying

I’m neither handy nor a dandy but my wife still finds me handy d…

The sign used to say: Gentlemen may remove their hats All others must Now it reads: Ladies and gentlemen may wear thei…

Because the Real is unimaginable effective liars exploit what people want to be true– This is known as the Unreal But the opposite of the Unreal

The dictatorship of the professori… uses neologisms to prevent counter elocution and to speed the transition to authentic sophism and the

What I lack in hygiene I make up for in sleep hygiene

When I got to the front of the self-checkout line I assumed there’d be a mirror but to my surprise and delight it was even better than I’d hoped

The rug saves its harshest critique for the carpet

In failing to put the I in team I took the erotic out of neurotic

Time is money But time stops at the speed of lig… Which means the buck stops, too Making enlightenment the act of ta… For how you’ve spent your time

Thinking that the purpose of life… things looked good enough on the s… to believe that my life was 24-karat gold Who knew that the purpose of beaut…

According to F. Scott Fitzgerald… “The test of a first-rate intellig… is the ability to hold two opposin… in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to fu…

It’s become harder than ever to be the court jester– you have to use humor to speak