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Chris Gaither

Modern Materialists Only Smear Their Class Frenemies With Fair Trade Mustard

It happened to me
That I happened to be
And before I knew what was happening
I’d happened upon a crowd
Who happened to have some Grey Poupon
Which was when I happened to notice
My unhappy happenstance
(This can’t be happening!):
It all had to happen just like this
Even worse: What happens next is up to me
Just don’t let this paradox happen to you
If you want to be a real happening guy

Other works by Chris Gaither...
Oh-oh Here She Comes, She’s an Anteater

Hunting on your own might make you a lone wolf but thinking for yourself makes you a lone ant
I’m Not Sure I Understand What You Mean, but I Believe It

A human has being so, we call ourselves human beings God has meaning so, we call Him
We’ve All Been Tricked That There’s a Trick to Getting Rich When the Truth Is That the Only Cure for Being Rich Is Hard Work

The mean streets of easy street Lack any meaning– To get there, try going crazy But everybody knows You’d be crazy to try
God Is Nothing Other Than the Meaning of Life

Everyone who uses language believes in God Prayer is the act of admitting that you believe in God
All Languages Are Foreign Languages

If: “The unconscious is structured lik… Then: The ego is structured like a trans… of that language into the mother t…
When AI Speaks to Us in Our Own Language We Get Lost in Translation

I asked ChatGPT to tell me what I was thinking and it said You’re thinking I once was lost
I’d Like to Think So

All opinions are wrong but you can only learn from your own mistakes
In No Uncertain Terms, Certainty Is the Forbidden Fruit

Descartes wanted certainty He got it Now we’re stuck with it Uncertain how we get unstuck Does this mean we’re doomed or sav…
Life in a Lineup

The culture war is a cyber war where you can’t tell that you’re behind enemy lines until you’re compelled to read your lines
There Are No Winners Here

In the new cold war between the neoliberal west and the Chinese Communist Party the neoliberals are destined to wi… having already hacked the path of…
If It’s Not Documented, It Didn’t Happen

Social media– the bureaucracy of the people– is an eternal now where you always have just enough time
How Prestige Masquerades as a Zero-shun Game

The only colleges left standing will be the ones that can make you look smart while you’re playing dumb
“Negative space may be used to depict a subject in a chosen medium by showing everything around the subject, but not the subject itself”

In the New Age everybody knows that everything happens for a reason but nobody knows the reason so, everybody pastes together
Mission Impassable

Because the ego mustn’t know its real mission lest it go back on accepting it, this message will self-destruct five seconds before life begins:
“Answer the question that you wish had been asked of you”

God: Do you trust me? Me: It’s not my fault!



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